imptortoisefacts

• the sf mellow paradox: we're late! but no hurry, man.
• the platonic ideal of hacky sack has several other, lesser, ideal forms.
• i'd gladly pay you $2 today for a communal breakfast tuesday.
• green tortoise bus drivers have trapper john moustaches.
• green tortoise bus drivers are aware of the buena vista social club, and have an innate sense of appropriate timing with it.
• our first stop is *berkeley*?
• leonardo di caprio's role in what's eating gilbert grape can exist in real life. and does.
• some girl with that stoner-laugh will be on board. its in the fine print when you sign on.
• the concept of a fold-out sofabed works extraordinarily well given the constraints of motor coach design.
• you *will* be sleeping between two pairs of strangers' feet. remember the grandparents' bed in charlie and the chocolate factory? you will.
• it may not be so bad. some girls have cute feet.
• mornings can be enjoyable, provided the following exist:
  • mist-blanketed mossy oregon forest
  • cold clear river, lying low on its banks
  • coffee
  • fresh fruit & yogurt (this one's optional)
  • fruit pancackes with warm, *genuine* maple syrup
  • lincoln log sauna, fed by a subterranean iron mine hot-rock-carrying railcar contraption
  • polar mist post-sauna shower
• there's always room for improvement. mornings can be better with:
  • bacon